If i come over, it means nothing
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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