if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
