roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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