i just had sex bonerless
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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