whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
