I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
