Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
