I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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