There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
