I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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