Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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