the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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