Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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