it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
