We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
