wat bout pragnant strippers??
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
