I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
