you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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