Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
