I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
