The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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