dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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