I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
