we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
