Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
