my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
