You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
