He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
