Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
