Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
