I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just google imaged poop.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Randomize
