Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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