the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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