are you so shy because you have an std?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
