If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we're making bets on your personal life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
