I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
