Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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