So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
