how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
