first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
