i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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