so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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