He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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