watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
