So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I understand Curling. That high.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
