i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You don't make any sense
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