So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
