Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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