And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
