its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
