i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
