Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
