someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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