honey bunches of taint.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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